Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
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