Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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