i barfeds in our rink
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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