im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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