I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
