It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
