When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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