you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
