That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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