My nipple is on Facebook.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
