I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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