You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
