Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
