I need to stop coming to work sober
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
last night I used snow as a chaser
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
