i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
