Define "chronic" masturbator.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
