we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
