Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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