why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
