We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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