In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
