I got chris browned last night
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
