Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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