Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Randomize
