I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
