Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
