As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
