i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize