just come out here and I will go home with you...
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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