Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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