I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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