Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Please, let me fuck your mom
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Randomize
