Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
