whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
third nipple confirmed
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