Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
