I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I intend to get homeless drunk
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
