Where did you get a picture of my penis
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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