1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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