I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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