just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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