the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
