oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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