So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Someone shattered a urinal.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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