First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize