My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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