ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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