Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
