You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
