If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
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I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
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I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
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