Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
You ate ashes out of my bong
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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