I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
