so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
