In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
