We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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