I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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