I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
