I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
