how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize