You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I have fence marks all over my body
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
