Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Randomize
